Please don't criticize the one you love. There's got to be a better way. In marriage men may wonder why the wife is backing up...keeping distance...what they fail to see is critical words hurt and make the person want to avoid the pain. What happened to "bite your tongue"? What is behind a critical spirit I wonder? Is it a habit learned in childhood? Is it conceit because we don't do it their way? Is it just advice given in a harsh tone? I don't know. I'm just insecure enough to feel it's a failure on my part and that when it happens often I am a total failure in that person's mind. I just wonder if it's really necessary? Does the person spitting out the harsh words feel better after? If you explain, sometimes even THAT is meant with criticism..then what? All I know to do is go crawl under the covers..hide...ponder what to do, how to make things right again? Baffling, to say the least. Maybe next time, I'll let them see the bottom side of a cast iron skillet and criticize how they look with a broken nose!!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
criticism hurts
Posted by Flo at 2:31 PM
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2 comments:
Sometimes I respond to critism by saying, your words are hurting my heart, and then walking away.
But I think the tone in which the words were spoken matters also.
Well Flo, I have to agree with you the cast iron skillet, although the person getting hit may not be worth going to jail over. You have completely described my first marriage. I have had these same questions and I believe that a critical spirit is very similar to a controlling spirit. Critical people have their own insecurities or issues and if they can make us feel rotten about ourselves, then we have given them the control they need to feel better about themselves. You are obviously a Christian and you are never a failure in God's eyes...that's who matters the most.
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