I'm waiting for the words "you've got mail"

I long to hear those words "you've got mail" cuz that means the US Post Office found the vacation mail they've been holding while hubby and I were cruising in Mexico. Oh sure, I know there's bills in there..perhaps an AARP magazine reminding me of my age..but I still want it. I did everything right..filled out the yellow card, had the right dates..used good penmenship, too. I've called all the people and got someone who works in the "we hold your mail" place. "I'll call you back" he says. That was yesterday..hello? This is important yanno. FINE..they can pay my gas bill. Then maybe I'll hear the words "You've got gas"!!